I managed to reach out …
So as I mentioned before I had asked to arrange a meeting with my doctor but never heard anything back a few times. His office is just too far for me to go when I am feeling this way. I reached out to him today to ask about meeting and he said he would figure out to perhaps be able to meet at the hospital close to me. I really hope this works out.
In a previous post I spoke about changing some of my OCD habits or routines slightly. I have been implementing this with a couple of the things I was doing. I have been able to change a few aspects and make the routines shorter and less complicated for a couple things. My thinking is that if I lessen the routines little by little that I will be able to remove them without so much difficulty. But what do I know, I am just reaching around in the dark here. What I have noticed though is that sometimes my mind starts to try and add new things in to these routines.
For example: Lighting a cigarette used to entail a very long process of counting and flipping the lighter and so on. I have been able to change this slightly and remove a few parts of it. However, I notice that I will randomly start adding new components to it. So when I start a new package of them I go back to the smaller revised version again and keep trying to fight the urge to add more things. Yes, I realize this all sounds pretty insane. Those of you who have the same issues will fully know what I am talking about.
This is the reason I ended up being unable to take my medicine, The whole routine just became far too exhausting and I would end up in tears trying to get it right, so I stopped taking it. HUGE mistake. I am trying really hard to get a grip on things so I can start taking it again because I know that personally, it helps me.
Has anyone tried the above method and had any luck with it? If so I would like to hear about your experience.
I was feeling really low lastnight and I did not make a post. Sorry for that. Sometimes I just feel really terrible about my whole situation and I feel like I am really putting a lot of pressure on the people around me.
I hope everyone has had a peaceful day or night.